You’re doing it again, aren’t you? They are so pleased to see you. You make everyone feel better. You’re the team player who lets everyone shine. Everyone comes to you to solve the problem and to be available and, for the most part, you always achieve that goal. That twinkle in your eye and that pep in your step lets everyone know that you’ve got it right; you’re a winner and such a nice person. Is this you? Is it happening again? Do you get those messages in your head that build you up and lets you know that you must always be there for others? Forget that you’re tired, forget that you haven’t done anything for yourself in so long. You are the master of everyone’s universe. You don’t give to receive. It is your role at work, at home, with friends to never get what you want.
How do you stop? Here is where I’m supposed to insert the Top 5 or Top 10 ways to change your life in X number of days. I can certainly add several interventions, but here’s the number one starting point:
ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE? One would think of the obvious response, but one must fully understand and commit to change. If you want to feel better, you have to do better and denounce the thought of “It’s easier said than done. They depend on me. How do I stop?” With that thought, there’s the impression that what you want and who you need to be and what you should eliminate from your life is impossible. If those thoughts remain, that may mean that you’re not ready. It’s too hard to change. There’s a benefit to staying stuck and getting sucked into despair again and again. What are you really getting out of putting yourself second, even last? Are you ready to challenge yourself and start putting your name at the top of the list? Can you tell yourself that you matter and your dreams matter, despite past or current hurt and disappointment? Can you allow people to live on their own terms without your constant need to rescue? No matter what happens in life, no matter other people’s tragedies, are ready to emotionally take care of yourself and make your needs a priority? Can you begin to understand that regardless of your roles and demands in life and balancing others’ lives with yours, that sometimes the teeter-totter should lean with you slightly higher? Deep questions, right? Let me ask again, ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?