Prince: My First Introduction to Social Consciousness, Part I
Summer reminds me of good music and as a delicious start of this week, his Royal Badness had another birthday. Prince Rogers Nelson. Had FanGirl stuff been popular back then, I would have been the official Prince FanGirl, but maybe not since I once read that Prince doesn’t like fans because it stands for fanatic. (He’s so amazingly and wonderfully complicated! ) Sorry Prince, I have been and will always be fanatic over what you represent to me.
The magical joy of getting an album, taking the disk out of the paper or plastic sleeve and putting it on the record player, then listening to new music over and over again while staring at the album cover. His soul seemed to seep in and the lyrics played like a movie. The scenery is set and there is bated breath waiting for the crescendo and denouement.
He has many songs that eventually help shape my social views. Prince has become one of my reasons for becoming a social worker.
Learn MoreWhen the Music Dies: Going On
According to Biography.com, The Day the Music Died was on February 3, 1959.
“Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson and their pilot Roger Peterson died in a plane crash, a tragedy that has been remembered as “The Day the Music Died.”
As a documentary fan, I’ve heard that saying before and could relate since over the past few years, I worried about music dying for me. I saw him elegantly aging; noticing the heels were replaced with soft sole shoes and the extra sexy curled hair or slicked short cut was changed back to a beautiful natural. Man, I knew this would come but my thought was “Please hold on. I have so much more I need.”
April 21, 2016
Learn MoreDepression
I’ve struggled for weeks trying to type the right message to post about depression. I feared being too clinical, too preachy or too whimsical. This deeply personal video perfectly conveys the symptoms and struggles of depression. You may become slightly uncomfortable at 12:46; please hang in there. The insight is too important to miss.
Wishing you Peace and Prosperity.
Learn MoreShow Yourself
Scrolling through my Notes app deleting unwanted listings, I came across this : “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” I had NO IDEA where it came from or why I wrote it. I conducted a quick Google search and two blog authors have used the title, Jennifer Barley and Melissa Matthewson. Forgive me. I didn’t read the posts because I had this idea came to my mind and I didn’t want to lose my thoughts.
Vulnerability leads to beauty. It’s like the fragility of a rose; it’s vulnerability to harsh touch makes it beautiful. Roses require a gentle touch. Vulnerability and a gentle touch is required in truly, deeply respectful relationships. We need to show our fragility to our loved one to make beauty rise. When we are harsh with words, deed and lack of understanding, we erode the gloss from each other causing the other person to grow harsh in their words, deeds and understanding.
Be brave, shine through and create roses for each other.
Learn MoreLove versus Respect
Why do some relationships succeed and others fail? Is it Love? Does Love conquer all? Love can see it through and make it all better?
Love is a much needed element but the type of love and the willingness to give love can be the difference in having concrete or straw as the foundation in a relationship. While love feels amazing and inspiring, it often feels more like a verb – it has movement, depth and intensity that is weighted by the giver and receiver. It is an emotion that can be manipulated based on circumstances.
Relationships need Love and Respect and Respect trumps Love, every time.
Respect is as deep and as abiding as Love and runs even deeper like stronger roots twisting intensively down into the earth. Impenetrable. It is a noun – a present and ever-changing thing. A tree is a tree regardless of the on-looker’s feelings about the tree.
Funerals are for the Living
One of my most treasured relatives tells me that funerals are for the living. Funerals are for a time to remember and support and a way of showing the living that there is a reason to live. Depending on your religious or non-religious affiliation, there is an after-life or the body just ceases to exist; either way, the departed has moved on. The living is left with struggle, disappointment, pain, hurt, surprise, despair and sometimes eventually peace.
Given the news of Robin Williams’s death, it would make sense for me to use this space as an homage to all of the celebrities and “notables” who were tortured souls dealing with mental illness and/or substance abuse. I could talk about all of the talent, the feelings of inadequacy some of them may have felt, masking pain and living out-of-step with healthy mental well-being. But, I will leave that to all of the experts and all of the newsanchors who “are trying to make sense of it all.”
Instead, I’d like to focus on the suffering souls of the loved ones who suffer with the tortured. Those who stay up all night with worry, those who wonder if today is the day my loved one will truly self-destruct, those who feel inadequate because their love isn’t enough.
What I have to say to you is simply, do your best and STILL take care of yourself. Deal with your own sadness and anxiety by reaching out to people outside of the tortured soul.
Many years ago, I read The Suicidal Mind by Edwin S. Shneidman and the book echoed what I had been trained to know about the folks in pain. Folks in despair own it and vacuous depths of their pain is often held in secret. My job is to try to show alternatives, give support and resources and ultimately use and believe in hope when the tortured can’t see any signs of hope. Ultimately what I know is that their pain is not about me which gives me the freedom to know that I am a stop on the journey; I am not solely responsible for the journey.
This is my hope for those living in torture, with the tortured. Share your love and compassion everyday, keep hope in your heart, appreciate being part of and not responsible for their journey and take care of your sadness by finding support for you.
If you know of someone in need or you need professional support, contact your insurance company for mental health providers in your area, contact the National Alliance for Mental Illness for resources and support groups, ask your primary care physician for resources, and step up your courage to ask to friends and associates for suggestions on where to go for help. I know people fear stigma, but that is coming from a place of shame and when used negatively, shame can only breed more pain.
Learn MoreFunerals are for the Living
One of my most treasured relatives tells me that funerals are for the living. Funerals are for a time to remember and support and a way of showing the living that there is a reason to live. Depending on your religious or non-religious affiliation, there is an after-life or the body just ceases to exist; either way, the departed has moved on. The living is left with struggle, disappointment, pain, hurt, surprise, despair and sometimes eventually peace.
Given the news of Robin Williams’s death, it would make sense for me to use this space as an homage to all of the celebrities and “notables” who were tortured souls dealing with mental illness and/or substance abuse. I could talk about all of the talent, the feelings of inadequacy some of them may have felt, masking pain and living out-of-step with healthy mental well-being. But, I will leave that to all of the experts and all of the newsanchors who “are trying to make sense of it all.”
Instead, I’d like to focus on the suffering souls of the loved ones who suffer with the tortured. Those who stay up all night with worry, those who wonder if today is the day my loved one will truly self-destruct, those who feel inadequate because their love isn’t enough.
What I have to say to you is simply, do your best and STILL take care of yourself. Deal with your own sadness and anxiety by reaching out to people outside of the tortured soul.
Many years ago, I read The Suicidal Mind by Edwin S. Shneidman and the book echoed what I had been trained to know about the folks in pain. Folks in despair own it and vacuous depths of their pain is often held in secret. My job is to try to show alternatives, give support and resources and ultimately use and believe in hope when the tortured can’t see any signs of hope. Ultimately what I know is that their pain is not about me which gives me the freedom to know that I am a stop on the journey; I am not solely responsible for the journey.
This is my hope for those living in torture, with the tortured. Share your love and compassion everyday, keep hope in your heart, appreciate being part of and not responsible for their journey and take care of your sadness by finding support for you.
If you know of someone in need or you need professional support, contact your insurance company for mental health providers in your area, contact the National Alliance for Mental Illness for resources and support groups, ask your primary care physician for resources, and step up your courage to ask to friends and associates for suggestions on where to go for help. I know people fear stigma, but that is coming from a place of shame and when used negatively, shame can only breed more pain.
Learn More