Being a Sloth and Loving it!
In my opinion, slothfulness gets a bad rep. It’s the name of an animal that moves kind of slothfully and is defined by humans as laziness that ranges on the scale from resisting work to practicing a deadly sin. However, it’s defined, that sloth is not a pleasing characteristic.
But, I would like to argue that the state and art of sloth have its appropriate place in society.
Learn MorePrince: My First Social Consciosness
The magical joy of getting an album putting it on the record player and listening to new music over and over again while staring at the album cover. While the music is playing, the soul of the artist seeps in and the lyrics play like a movie. The scenery is set and there is bated breath waiting for the crescendo and denouement.
Music is influential and in my case, it helped shape a career.
In France, a skinny man died of a BIG disease with a little name. By chance his girlfriend came across a needle and soon she did the same. At home there are 17-year-old boys and their idea of fun Is being in a gang called The Disciples High on crack and totin’ a machine gun
Hurricane Annie ripped the ceiling of a church and killed everyone inside
U turn on the telly and every other story is tellin’ U somebody died A sister killed her baby cuz she couldn’t afford 2 feed it And yet we’re sending people 2 the moon In September, my cousin tried reefer 4 the very first time Now he’s doing horse – it’s June
It’s silly, no? When a rocket ship explodes and everybody still wants 2 fly But some say a man ain’t happy unless a man truly dies Oh why?
Baby make a speech, Star Wars fly Neighbors just shine it on But if a night falls and a bomb falls Will anybody see The Dawn?
Prince Sign of the Times © 1987 Paisley Park Records
Is he black or white is he straight or gay?
Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb?
Money don’t matter tonight. It sure didn’t matter yesterday. Just when you think you’ve got more that enough, that’s when it all flies away.
In France a man died of big disease with a little name?
The beautiful ones, they hurt you everytime.
Paint a perfect picture
Bring 2 life a vision in one’s mind
The
beautiful ones always smash the picture
Always, every time
Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changin’
It’s time we all reach out
4 something new, that means U 2
U say U want a leader, but U can’t seem 2 make up your mind
I think U better close it and let me guide U 2 the purple
rain
How could U just leave me standing Alone in a world so cold? (World so cold) Maybe I’m just 2 demanding Maybe I’m just like my father – 2 bold
Maybe U’re just like my mother She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied) Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when doves cry
He used 2 say so strong unafraid 2 die Unafraid of the death that left me hypnotized No, staring at his picture I realized No one could cry the way my Tracy cried
Sometimes it snows in April Sometimes I feel so bad Sometimes, sometimes I wish that life was never ending And all good things, they say, never last
Money don’t matter 2night It sure didn’t matter yesterday Just when U think U’ve got more than enough That’s when it all up and flies away
That’s when U find out that U’re better off Makin’ sure your soul’s alright Cuz money didn’t matter yesterday And it sure don’t matter 2night
Black day, stormy night No love, no hope in sight Don’t cry, He is coming Don’t die without knowing the Cross
Ghettos 2 the left of us Flowers 2 the right There’ll be bread 4 all of us If we can just bear the Cross
So what is the answer 2 the question of U? What do I look 4? What shall I do? Which way do I turn when I’m feeling lost? If I sell my soul, now what will it cost? Must I become naked – no image at all? Shall I remain upright or get down and crawl? All of the questions in my life will be answered When I decide which road 2 choose What is the answer 2 the question of U?
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Happy Spring?
In a little under 9 hours from now, Spring is expected to arrive. The Farmer’s Almanac may believe this to be true; the picture outside paints a different picture. It’s snowing on the First Day of Spring. Plans are foiled again.
That’s life, right? Wake up in the morning with success on the mind. Set new goals: finally going to attack the ever-growing to-do list and mark today as the day to rejuvenate an exercise and healthy eating plan. Then, things go wrong. So much time is spent daydreaming about intended success that the day is started in a rush. The bad mood enters and they view the world with dread instead of anticipation. With all of these barriers in mind, thoughts direct to “Maybe tomorrow” and this wintry weather in Spring sums up life, “Things never go my way.”
Let’s take a lesson from Mother Nature, shall we? We control very little in this world. There’s always a tragedy somewhere, there are always barriers in your life. Certainly how you perceive and address the barriers is what matters. Accept your “powerlessness” and embrace your possibilities. What can you do now to strengthen yourself? What can you do now to address those goals? What can you do now to go from daydreaming to achieving?
What can YOU do? Happy Spring!
Learn MoreDissapointment
“You’re disappointing me.”
“You’re such a disappointment.”
“This is disappointing.”
“I can’t get over the disappointment.”
“I’m so disappointed.”
In this business, I am faced with varying degrees of disappointment that can be presented as a noun, verb or adjective. Whatever the context, disappointment is a strong force that can shape your perspective of self and others and your relationships.
There’s plenty of research on the core and consequences of disappointment and while research informs me in knowledge, my clients are more interested in what to do about it; how to stop being disappointed.
First, see people for who they are and not who you imagine they should or could be. Stay in the present.
Second, try to separate your emotion from what’s really happening. Be realistic in your expectations. Understand that people “show up” for you in their way.
Third, remind yourself to communicate before, during and after disappointment. Ineffective communication is shutting down to teach people a lesson. Since you’re not telling them that you are shutting down to teach them a lesson, they won’t know that is the lesson they should be learning.
Lastly, cry, complain and consider. Cry to process your sadness; tears have a way of explaining the unexplainable. Complain to give yourself an opportunity to reexamine what happened, not just how you feel. Consider what you could have done differently, what you will do differently next time, how you will communicate your needs in the future and what will be the roles of people in your life.
Learn MoreShould Black Folks Get Therapy?
Um, yes. I should should end this post with that response, but I will add to write about why Black folks should get therapy and why they possibly haven’t.
Starting with why we don’t:
1. Because our Mama didn’t need therapy,
2. Because we are told Black folks don’t need therapy,
3. Because we are told therapy is for rich White folk who don’t have anything better to do,
4. Because we don’t tell people our business,
5. Because we think we can handle our own problems, and
6. Because we don’t have the money to waste on therapy.
Ending with why we should:
1. Coming from hard times with harsh childhoods and limited resources does not make us “extra Black”. We tend to believe these hard times have made us stronger. I challenge you to define strong. If strong means you have accepted what has happened and have not allowed previous hard times to impede on the optimism of your future, then perhaps you can manage all of life’s stress with a full heart. If you define strong as forging through life feeling you’ve got to “step to” anybody who thinks for a minute of “getting over,” then I would say that’s a life filled with anxiety.
2. The secret is out: Black folks hurt just like White or any other folk. We have needed and still need to create determination and perseverance and that is emotionally draining. There is no prize for masking hurt. Knowing that you are hurt is not weakness. Pretending you are not hurt makes you feel weaker.
3. “It takes a whole village to raise a child.” -African proverb (Note: you now Africa is a really big continent with a lot of countries; did everybody in Africa say this?) My cynicism aside, we use this proverb to stand proudly on the history that we used to help each other within our own community, BUT nowadays, we don’t go to Anyone to ask for help.
4. For those of us who are receiving some kind of health insurance, do we carefully read our benefit plans to see the range of services that we pay for or that government programs offer? Reading is a gift! You may find mental health care is more affordable than you think. For those of us without health care, how about considering calling somebody and explaining what you need? They may be able to help or refer you to someone who can. Knowledge is a power!
5. Suffering in silence is not sexy. You think you are hiding your pain with great outfits, a fake smile, money in the bank, fancy car, lots of people around you, a dream job and you are that person your family and friends seek when they need help. That makes you think you are not suffering. But, when that voice inside says, “You’re not good enough. You’re a faker. You’re not happy,” it’s time to get it all out so you can be as confident on the inside as you look on the outside.
6. There is absolutely no payoff to not taking care of yourself and not getting help. Ignoring mental health and physical health issues does not make you a better person. You may be the “strong” one that everyone turns to, but what happens to you? When people come to you in need, you become their emotional sponge and absorb their energy. Look carefully at used sponges – lint collects on them, bacteria grows in them and the edges fray. After the sponge can longer absorb (meaning, you as the sponge emotionally falls apart), the sponge gets discarded. If you are the helper in your family and really enjoy that role, know that it can be overwhelming. Let someone help you figure out how to be useful, not used.
Learn MorePrince: My First Introduction to Social Consciousness, Part I
Summer reminds me of good music and as a delicious start of this week, his Royal Badness had another birthday. Prince Rogers Nelson. Had FanGirl stuff been popular back then, I would have been the official Prince FanGirl, but maybe not since I once read that Prince doesn’t like fans because it stands for fanatic. (He’s so amazingly and wonderfully complicated! ) Sorry Prince, I have been and will always be fanatic over what you represent to me.
The magical joy of getting an album, taking the disk out of the paper or plastic sleeve and putting it on the record player, then listening to new music over and over again while staring at the album cover. His soul seemed to seep in and the lyrics played like a movie. The scenery is set and there is bated breath waiting for the crescendo and denouement.
He has many songs that eventually help shape my social views. Prince has become one of my reasons for becoming a social worker.
Learn MoreWhen the Music Dies: Going On
According to Biography.com, The Day the Music Died was on February 3, 1959.
“Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson and their pilot Roger Peterson died in a plane crash, a tragedy that has been remembered as “The Day the Music Died.”
As a documentary fan, I’ve heard that saying before and could relate since over the past few years, I worried about music dying for me. I saw him elegantly aging; noticing the heels were replaced with soft sole shoes and the extra sexy curled hair or slicked short cut was changed back to a beautiful natural. Man, I knew this would come but my thought was “Please hold on. I have so much more I need.”
April 21, 2016
Learn MoreNew Year, New Perspective?
In my professional and personal opinion, New Year Resolutions stink. What does one resolve, anyway? I know I won’t gain any new age, spiritually balanced friends when I poo-poo the desire to awaken the inner me by striving to reach new heights through carefully constructed goals usually listed in some downloaded app.
In my experience, my resolutions are my rehashed and tweaked attempts at having a New Life and call it, Me 2.0. Here’s my secret: after 22 1/2 or so attempts, I haven’t met Me 2.0. I’m still in my original packaging. On January 1, I’m determined to dress this package in pretty bows, but by by mid February, the bows wilt and I start my journey of self acceptance (read: the lies I tell myself to justify giving up my goals).
What’s going to be new this year? Instead of action plans and buddy systems, I’m going to try my hand at CONSISTENCY and OWNERSHIP. I think that’s really at the center of what makes my goal a success or failure. Consistently own that I have things I would like to address and regardless if it’s a new year, new month or new day, I have to consistently own and grow from what I SAY is important to I MUST DO what is important.
Learn MoreDepression
I’ve struggled for weeks trying to type the right message to post about depression. I feared being too clinical, too preachy or too whimsical. This deeply personal video perfectly conveys the symptoms and struggles of depression. You may become slightly uncomfortable at 12:46; please hang in there. The insight is too important to miss.
Wishing you Peace and Prosperity.
Learn MoreShow Yourself
Scrolling through my Notes app deleting unwanted listings, I came across this : “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” I had NO IDEA where it came from or why I wrote it. I conducted a quick Google search and two blog authors have used the title, Jennifer Barley and Melissa Matthewson. Forgive me. I didn’t read the posts because I had this idea came to my mind and I didn’t want to lose my thoughts.
Vulnerability leads to beauty. It’s like the fragility of a rose; it’s vulnerability to harsh touch makes it beautiful. Roses require a gentle touch. Vulnerability and a gentle touch is required in truly, deeply respectful relationships. We need to show our fragility to our loved one to make beauty rise. When we are harsh with words, deed and lack of understanding, we erode the gloss from each other causing the other person to grow harsh in their words, deeds and understanding.
Be brave, shine through and create roses for each other.
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