What I’ve noticed about me, about the people I serve and about folks, in general, is that change comes when you’re ready and most of the time when you’re not ready. When change comes, it’s about how you address the change that brings life lessons.
I started writing posts for this blog in November 2012 and kept it up for several entries thereafter and eventually it fell of my radar. (It really didn’t fall off, I threw it off).
This was unfortunate because in my initial post, I proclaimed this blog would be fulfilling and satisfying and flexible. The triumph became disastrous because my blog became easily avoidable. I lost my way. Writing drafts created anxiety. I feared readers wouldn’t “get me” and ridicule me. How many posts have you read where responders would criticize not just the content but the person writing the blog? With every published post, I would cringe and hide.
Fortunately after I passively (aggressively, really) decided to stop writing, for the next year, I focused on trying to figure out what the heck I was doing with my work and my life. The past year was filled with cramming and balancing an overloaded schedule, deep emotional questions and the maddening cycle of always questioning what’s next and never feeling completed.
Here I am still not fully having it all figured out but thanks to many travelers on my journey, I have recommitted to hearing my own voice. I feel fortunate that I’ve recognized that I have a voice and this journey has given me plenty to say. I’m sure I will still feel trepidation and cringe with every post, but I will not let this fear overtake me. I don’t know where all of this is going and I’m willing to find out.